“I don't really want to go to kids' church today,” my seven-year-old daughter said to me. We were getting ready for church, and I had just placed the bow in her hair. She had maintained the look of dread that was on her face the entire time I was doing her hair, and I kind of already knew where it was coming from.

“Are you ashamed of your hair?” I asked, gently pulling her chin up so I could look into her eyes. She has a full, thick, beautiful head of hair, and this particular morning, it was in its natural state of a 4C tightly curled afro.

“No,” she said unconvincingly.

“Are you sure? Is this about that girl in your class?” She had mentioned a few times before that a girl in kids' church had made fun of her hair, calling it weird and trying to touch it, so I figured this was the source of her apprehension.

“Are you ashamed of your hair when it's like this?” I asked again, stretching out one of her curls. I didn't even wait for her to answer. “You shouldn't be. You are beautiful, your hair is beautiful, there is nothing about you that is not beautiful, and if someone has something negative to say about your looks, they are directly insulting God.”

“What do you mean?”

Well, God is a people maker, and He's quite skilled at it. He made your hair in a specific way, and He did it intentionally, just like with the rest of you. He created us all as we are for His own reasons. If you are tall, short, skinny, chunky, have pink ears, blue ears, or a red nose, that was His decision. If someone has a problem with that, they are taking issue with God's design. The Bible says that many are called, but few are chosen (Matt. 22:14-16). I want you to hear this: you are chosen. You did not come to this earth by chance. God placed you here purposefully. You are a Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Hannah, Ruth, Esther. You are here for such a time as this, and God has set you apart for a reason (Esther 4:14).

“Holy,” she whispered.

“Huh?”

“Holy,” she said again, clearing her throat. “Holy means set apart.”

“Wow, you remembered, very good, babe. Yes, God uses people's differences to set them apart and lead them to be holy like He is holy (1 Peter 1:16). Think about it—you're a little Black girl, tall, thick, and beautiful. You don't blend into the crowd, and you probably never will. You are different, not just in your appearance but also in your character and who you are. If you let him, the enemy will use the very things that make you special to ruin your confidence and damage your self-esteem. He wants you to feel bad about yourself so that you doubt God's plan and design for your life. He would have you thinking that you are big and ugly with nappy hair, and if you fall for that, he will have succeeded in his goal to steal, kill, and destroy any possibility of God using you for His purpose. If you listen to anyone who calls you a name or makes fun of you, you are giving power to the enemy. When you are different, whatever the difference, it should be a red flag that God intends to use you. While the enemy picks on your differences, God uses them to set you apart.”

“You got all that from that girl making fun of my hair?”

“Yes. Yes, I did.”

“So, the girl at church makes fun of my hair because I'm chosen?”

“No, the girl at church makes fun of your hair because she's ignorant and has no home training. She allows the enemy to use her to hurt people; a lot of people do, but that’s not your problem. Focus on being holy.”

“Be holy, as God is holy. Be holy as God is holy,” she chanted with a big smile on her face. 

“I'm glad you're feeling better,” I told her. “But listen up, I'm almost done with my rant. Throughout history, God has done His people a favor by setting them apart. He told Abraham to leave his family and his homeland (Gen. 12:1-9). David was isolated as a shepherd boy, considered weird and annoying by his brothers (1 Sam. 17:28-51). Daniel remained devout in his faith while his peers adopted pagan customs. Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Hannah struggled to have children, which was a source of shame in their day. Naomi and Ruth were childless widows, and guess what, their hair was probably weird too! But they are an example because of the things that made them different. We do not talk about the losers who made fun of them; we talk about the holy people who allowed God to use their differences for their good and His glory. God’s people are different, so that there is no question Who they belong to. God’s people are holy!