Safe Place

My six-year-old has a boyfriend… not really, but you know, in the way kids think they are boyfriend and girlfriend. They met and fell in love in kindergarten (in my sarcastic voice). They are not in the same class this year, but I ask her about him often.

“Did you see your booooyfriend today?” I teased.

“Yes,” she answered, smiling. “He waved at me and blew me a kiss.”

“So, do you think your relationship is better or worse now that you are in different classes?” I asked, trying to amuse myself.

“Oh, it's much better now,” she said confidently. “Mama,” she said after a long pause, “What's a relationship?”

What is a relationship? The dictionary says it is “how two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.” Okay, that makes sense, but you can be connected without any depth to your connection. You can definitely be connected without really knowing one another or even caring to know one another. For instance, let's take people with casual relationships and acquaintances. There are relationships where you know someone; you may communicate now and then, but you do not go much further. Then, there are relationships that you cherish and depend upon. These are genuine relationships where you care about what the other person thinks; you love and respect them, and they love and respect you. You know everything about them, and they know everything about you. You can go to them with anything; you want to go to them with everything. They are your safe place.

When I think of people who had an authentic relationship with God in scripture, David is always at the top of the list. In Psalm 51:1-3 he pleads with God, “Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.” You do not ask someone to have mercy on you unless you trust them. You do not plead with someone to blot out your transgressions unless you think they will. You do not confess your sins unless you have a safe place to do so. David did all these things in Psalm 51. He went to God after he set up Bathsheba's husband to cover up their adulterous affair (2 Samuel 11). His heart was heavy; he knew he was wrong.

One of the most satisfying parts of being a mother is when my daughter comes to me with a confession.

“Mama,” she says.

“Yes, babe?” I answer.

“I've got something to tell you, but I don't want to tell you because it's bad.”

“What is it, Charlotte? You know you can tell me anything.”

“Well,” she says, stuttering. “I'm a bad person.”

“What happened, Charlotte?”

“I don't want to tell you.”

“Tell me,” I say, waiting for the bomb to drop.

“Well, I talked in the bathroom,” she confesses, face scrunched up, ready to cry.

“You talked in the bathroom?” I repeat, waiting for more. Was that it? I thought. What is wrong with talking in the bathroom?

“We are not supposed to talk in the bathroom, but I talked to Sophie,” she says through tears.

I could not help but feel bad for her and good for myself at the same time. Poor sweet thing was feeling convicted for breaking the rules, and I was feeling great for raising a child who would feel convicted for breaking the slightest rule and then, on top of that, come and tell me all about it. She could have completely gotten away with what she did, but she came to me unprovoked and confessed her sin.

“Charlotte, you are not a bad person. You talked in the bathroom, and yes, that was wrong because it is against the rules, but I can understand how you could get caught up in a conversation and find yourself breaking the rules. The important thing is that you recognize your wrong and confess. It takes a big person to own up to their mistakes. I admire that about you. I know that you respect me and care about what I think, and that makes me happy because that is the same respect we have for God as our relationships with Him grow. The same way you are quick to tell me everything is the same way you will be quick to go to God. If I am your safe place, you will find He is even the more.”

God called David a man after His own heart because they had a genuine relationship (Acts 13:22). David confided in God, listened to Him, and obeyed. Because David took the time to get to know God, he began to love and value the same things as God. His relationship with God gave him comfort and strength, and he longed to be near God, in His presence, the ultimate safe place.

Find your safe place in Jesus Christ. Get closer to God through His Word. Read and study scripture and apply it to your life. You will find that to Him, you can take any and everything. “Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).